Winter chill


20170803_105159Her extremities are feeling the bite of the morning chill as she performs today’s self-set tasks.

Routine chores are good. They give an outwardly appearance of normality while inside she struggles with a need for purpose. A need to be useful. A need to keep going.

She knows the Australian winter is not as harsh as those experienced in European countries however she was born in a summer of the hot, dry land and has always felt free when raising a sweat because of her labours and feeling the sun tan her olive skin.

It has been a long winter and while she works she focuses on the significance of the coming spring and the new beginnings it brings.

Surely the many sad endings of the past months have paved the way for just as many happy new starts.

Having a direction and aiming for it has been the driving force in her life. It established purpose and, although never coming with a map and a direct path to the final goal, it had served her well so far.

Today her next goal is unclear and all travel plans seem to have been cancelled as a result.

She was treading water for the moment, hoping the passing storms of life don’t increase the depth of the private muddy pond where she has found herself.

Swimming has never been a favourite pastime for her although she wouldn’t ever knock back an opportunity to cool off on a hot day.

But the days have not been hot. A cool breeze keeps blowing and a place in the sun out of its reach has been hard to find. She doesn’t like treading water under these conditions but getting out of her imaginary pond would require planning what direction to go to find warmth and comfort.

In her present state of mind, she has no idea where that is.

She will keep paddling for a while longer a try to establish a new daily routine to replace the one she has lost.

One day at a time, isn’t that what they say? Only by placing one foot in front of the other repeatedly will forward motion be achieve.

While treading water her feet are going up and down and round and round but they are moving. The forward motion will happen when the time is right.

When the storms subside, when the sun comes out, when winter has finally let go and leaving the pond doesn’t involve a mad dash to warmth, things will be different.

A new life will replace the one she has been forced to leave behind. She really hopes both her mind and her heart come to agreement on this because on this chilly August morning they are at odds with each other on the topic.

If she could get warm everything else will fall into place. Finding warmth is todays goal. Move and it will happen.

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