Hello again.


Well, it has been a while. Sorry about that.

A lot has been going on in my neck of the woods ; one of which is that one of my wonderful sons has managed to bring my laptop back from the place that is all blue every time the start button is pushed.

Yay for him. I’ve just had to get all my “stuff” put back on it and operational which was too hard for a while.

It’s hard to believe 2013 is almost over. What a year?

I’m still trying to juggle being a mother and the bread winner. After over 22 years you would think I would know how to do it by now but like my kids, my work responsibilities have gotten bigger and I love both of them. This is where I am finding issues and why I feel like I’m wasting time sitting down and letting my fingers hit keys on a keyboard at home and for myself.

There is dust lying on everything and cat fur on the floor that just keeps coming back regardless of how often I vacuum. We’re running out of food in the cupboards again because I seem to clean up after one meal and have to start the next one.  Don’t even get me started on making sure there are clean, pressed cloths to wear. Ironing is one of my least favourite jobs in the world but I’m so loopy I can’t stand the sight of my children looking untidy in wrinkled clothing. Yes, I’m my own worst enemy in that little battle.

The boys do help a little, they wash the cloths when I ask them and one even folds them neatly in the cloths basket when he gets them off the line. I’m not complaining, I’ve just been a bit exhausted of late and a lot less tolerant.

Maybe this is where I should mention I’ve had to visit the doctor more often this year. I don’t like my doctor, even though she has helped me feel better. She is mean and likes the words “at your age”.

These words have really tested my tolerance. Please, I haven’t even achieved that magical number where I find it acceptable to ponder I’m getting old yet.  That would be the numbers five and zero put together. This time next year I aim to have revised those numbers and upped them to a six and a zero but that is next year.

So, back to my denial. The women in my family have a history of starting “the change” early and I’m continuing the tradition – that is all. I’m done with all that anyway. Just get it over and done with is all I ask because I have things that have to be done and I don’t need my stupid body slowing me down. I also don’t need a doctor, who looks to be the same age as me if not older, using these condescending words on me. As I said, I seemed to have lost a bit of my tolerance but not my common sense so I didn’t slap her after she used the phrase “at your age” a dozen times in the fifteen minutes I had booked for an appointment.

The other words she used were just as bad. Cut back on your coffee consumption she says like that is no big deal. Hello, no coffee, no function. Darn she knows how to hurt a person. There was a lot of other blah blah blah including it was okay for me to take up drinking a glass of wine a day, a big ask for a non-drinker, and to watch the amounts of salt and saturated fats in my diet. Oh yes, I almost forgot, she was intent on highlighting the fact that I am too short for my weight too.  Not by much but when you have a wound open why not rub some salt into it? Vulgar when apparently that is the only way I can have salt that she approves of.  Again, you may be a doctor but look in a mirror woman. I’m sorry, she had put herself on my bad side as it was with the horrible phrase and then she went all the way to the dark side after that.  I am not the old person she was looking for to torture and condemn. I am me and I’m not even 50 yet.

Oh yes, de nile (denial) is more than a river in Egypt.

Then she puts me on blood pressure medication. Sigh, it has begun. The first tablet I have to take every day. I fear it won’t take long and I’ll have the chemist making up bubble packs, split up into times and days of the week so I don’t forget what I have to have when or even worse, a collection of little bottles that are set on the table at meal times alongside the salt reduced tomato sauce.

Alright, that might be a slight over exaggeration.

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One thought on “Hello again.

  1. I didn’t realise you had been out of it for so long! That may be because I was off line from end August to end Nov with new rescue puppy in Spain, waiting for his jabs to come through.

    A little less internet, and a little more life is good for us all.

    I accomplished my change at an exceedingly early age apparently. Someone in her mid fifties said to me some years ago (I was late 40s), oh, you’ll have to go through all this in a few years time. ha sweetheart, been there done that some years ago. Very convenient. Cheaper in terms of tampons too. The hot nights meant I was warm all through winter too. I think the worst of it was getting rosy ears during the day a few times. There are advantages to having long hair.

    I’d be changing my doctor. Especially if they started telling me what to eat and drink. Or what not to eat and drink. I have no idea what my blood pressure is, nor do I want to find out. Hope you find some leisure time.

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