Why is it harder to remember the good things in life than it is the bad things?
I was pondering this question while enjoying some winter warmth from the sun in the garden this morning. Winter is my least favourite time of the year as it always seems so long compared to the fleeting days of summer, however my half hour of winter sun enjoyment was just as fleeting as the summer days. Although it was a brief moment of light shining through the dark days of winter it happened, which to me is confirmation that within all situations something good is possible. The trick is to recognise, appreciate and acknowledge it when it does.
So many people these day appear to dwell on the bad and use it as an excuse for their current situation. So often I hear people blaming a bad childhood, bad environment, bad experiences and the like that have taken away their confidence in themselves and stopped them in their tracks. Some stories break my heart as to the hardships people have endured and others amaze me at the creativity of the perpetrators who inflicted both visible and invisible scares on their victims. But all distress me as the suffering experienced as a result leaves people overwhelmed and unable to see their way through the darkness into comforting light. The darkness that has engulfed them blocks out the helping hands extended to them or kind words of understanding and comfort. They are stuck with the bad and, although only fleeting, the good is rejected. They are blinded, not by, but to any light of hope that could led them out of a dark place and allow them to be happy and confident again.
How do you help someone in this situation? I wish I had a magical, one step solution but I don’t. My current theory is to practice understanding, not judgement, and help them to slow down and literally stop to smell the roses. I do mean literally. Roses are beautiful but to achieve this beauty they must first overcome the thorny bush they grow on. Each individual flower has its own beauty that over shadows where it comes from as if in total defiance of its situation.
While enjoying the winter sun this morning I discovered my rose bush is already blooming. The plant is a little overwhelmed by others in the garden at the moment as the cold gloomy winter days have kept me inside and discouraged me from gardening. While I was hiding from the misery that I call winter something good was happening and I didn’t even see it going on. I didn’t make it happen, it happened by itself. It’s beauty has been waiting for me to discover it among overgrown plants on a rare warm day during a cold Australian winter. I just had to look.